Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Tears

I am all wrung out from crying i guess. I haven't been crying for a while, even in the situations where i thought i would cry like a baby,but i did not. I have to be honest to my friends today. " Heya, i always say i drank a lot of water before sleeping, and that was the reason i looked puffy...hmm.. i was trying to cover up myself. You know why now. "

I rarely shared when there were things bothering me. I found crying was a great relief for me.I cried myself to sleep almost everynights for a year or two. Well, i laugh at myself now. At some point, i had to start laughing. Why would i tortured myself that way. What is the big deal being a single mother, i sailed through it , didn't i, and i am sailing pretty well still.

Talked to a good friend of mine yesterday about tears and laughters, i ended year 2012 with laughters, a lot a lot of it. And, i have stopped crying for every little things. The friend of mine told me it may be because i am more emotionally grounded rather than being harder and less open to emotion,after what i have been through. I smiled and told him what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

“Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” - C.S.Lewis

This was a photo of me taken by someone in secret during Christmas.
 I didn't like it initially because my wrinkles are so obvious. After laughing at it and
 i starting to like it, i was happy, really happy. It didn't show any signs of sadness,
 my eyes, my nose and my teeth, my every muscles were laughing :)

God shows undeserved kindness to everyone...You will suffer for a while, but God will make you complete,steady, strong ,and firm. 1Peter 5:10
I don't like suffering, nobody does. I don't like problems, troubles, nobody likes. But I believe God will open our eyes to see things crystal clear after we experience it, just like He does.


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